Choose your rate, choose your fate.

Growing up has to be one of the hardest things everyone goes through in their life. It's like you have to find out A LOT about yourself and make a plan for the future. And if you don't, then you're screwed. You need to support yourself financially and do something you love. That's one thing I'm struggling with. But I think I got it figured it now thanks to my uncle.
My uncle joined the army in the early 90's. To him it was more like; "Hey, I'm bored............I wanna join the military!" So that day he joined. Basic training about killed him. He was a smoker ("was" Thank God!!) and never ran a day in his life, what was he thinking??? But he always would say to me that the military was a good idea to get your life on the right path financially. He told me that I could join the military for three years and get a GI bill of $80,000 (now I know where all the country's money is going........) and plus the money I get for working for three years. It seems like a smart choice for me at this point. 
When I was thinking of a career I would like to do for the rest of my natural born life I came up with several, but I narrowed it down to architecture. I just like the idea of drawing out buildings. But since the economy is not very stable right now I wouldn't be able to do that. Which made me upset cause that was the career that I really wanted to do. But it was a 50/50 chance that I could make it big in that career. Either I was going to be really successful at it and make TONS of money or be dead broke. I didn't really want to take that chance because of Howard. One question I had in mind during the whole career hunting thing was; "Can I make enough money to support a horse???" I want to be able to keep Howard and not sell him off to anyone. He means too much to me!!! But while doing some research with my uncle, we, more like him, found out that the military has engineering in their many fields of chooses. Good! Now I can do what I like and still get a nice pay check! And if I live on the base, I wouldn't have to pay ANYTHING!!! He also told me these wise words; "Choose your rate, choose your fate." It pretty much means that what every field I choose I choose how my life is gonna end up to be.
But the one thing that scares me is that can I handle it? Can I handle the basic training and the crap that they will put me through. Erin has told me stories about when she was in the military (I know, I didn't really know that either until I told her about joining the myself.....she sure did have a lot of stories) and about how the embarrass you on the first day. But I would also have to get up at the crack of dawn and exercise like crazy. I think that the one thing I should be more concern about is that can I get in? My uncle told me that the military is being really picky about who they let join. But he also told me that females have a higher chance of getting in then males. Ha! Sucks to be a guy now, doesn't it? I decided that I would join ROTC at my school and do that for two years and maybe go to a community college for two years. As for the fiscally part, I'm just going to work out from now till then to tone up my body so basic training won't be that hard on me.
So all I can say is that I'm choosing my rate careful so my fate can end up good.

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I haven't been out to ride much lately but last time I did I had a wonderful ride! I really focused on myself like I have been doing and doing my best NOT to blame Howard for not understanding. Cause after all, he's just a horse. 

We had really nice trot work. He was relaxed and his tempo was nice but a little slow. He is a lazy horse. But he's my lazy horse.(:

Cantering was another story. I've been really trying to get my seat just right and at the same time keep Howard balanced. We have gotten better but not quite there. But I believe that we can do it one day.

On another good note Howard's issue in the grooming stall at Horse Spa has almost vanished! Well, I wouldn't say "his" problem it's my problem too. But still. Yaaaay!!!

I don't even wanna look at you for making me stand in here.......

I've been good so I get a treat, right??

It's just a part of life

I think winter has finally (and hopefully) settled in. For the past few weeks the weather has been a little bit bipolar. One day it's 67 with 20 mph winds and the next 40 with freezing rain. With this I haven't gotten out much to ride Howard. But, I've just given up on taking off and leaving on Howard's blanket, it's just gonna stay on for the rest of the winter. He won't sweat to death, his blanket is more like a wind breaker and rain coat.
Anyway on another note, my last two rides have been amazing. I've been really focusing on myself instead of blaming Howard. That alone makes my ride wonderful, mostly for Howard. Every time I finish, he is just so relax. I'm so happy with myself but mostly Howard.
Today, while Mom and I went out to go get Howard, he decided that it was play time. Eventually, he got all the horses going. It was a good lesson in what to do while the horses are running around. I told Mom to stay were she was so the horses could see her and when they got too close just wave  her arms. She did good. And in the end we laughed, but not when Howard ran into the gate. Thank goodness he's okay.

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Last night, a little before midnight, my mom did her usually routine with letting our two beagle mixes, Chance (male, 6 years old) and Hunter (female, 2 years old) out one last time before bed. Like always, Hunter came in first. Mom waited for Chance for about 5 or 10 minutes. Nothing. She finally went out there to look for him. She found him in one of the corners of the yard, dead. 

We got him when he was three months old from a man that found him in his neighbor's yard with his dead mother and her two dead litters. We thought a puppy will bring energy back into our old Chow mix, Tasha (RIP). Well..........it happened the other way around. He wasn't a morning dog and it was about noon before he ate his breakfast. He had quiet the personality. 

He was overall a great dog. We believe that he died of a heart attack or heart failure, we just hope he didn't suffer. My dad buried him next to his favorite spot to sun bathe. He will be greatly missed and have a special place in our hearts.
 

Chance's first night home.

Going for his first walk............sorta.

"Am I cute yet?"

Chance and Tasha

Chance graduate from obedience school at 6 months old

This is what Chance looked like every morning.

 

He would always find a comfortable to take a nap

Something's doesn't look right........

Hunter's first night home. Chance's first night of no rest.

Chance and Hunter begging for a dinner role at Thanksgiving. Last picture of him.

Relaxation vs. Tension

Today I found myself really focused on me. Not my mental/emotionally attitude towards my riding and my horse (which has gotten a WHOLE lot better), but towards my posture and how I was asking Howard to preform, even just to the simplest turn or circle increase when he cut in on the circle.
During the first few months at Horse Spa I have been really tense in my whole body which has caused Howard to be tense as well. Me being tense = Howard being tense = Not a very comfortable ride for either of us. As you can guess I ran into the problem today. While I was riding I kept thinking to myself (who else would I really be thinking to anyway), "Why don't I just stay relax? Why don't I just stay relax? Why don't I just stay relax" But I never really did it. When finally I was about to canter and Howard was running with his back dropped and his head up (clearly not reaching). It finally hit me that I should probably just relax. I could feel how tense I was so I was like, "I'm just gonna relax." And I didn't even take a deep breath or shake it off, I just got relax. It's like mt body clicked and said, "It's time to be relaxed."
After I relaxed I had a wonderful ride. The canter was on the forehand but after awhile I found my seat and managed to make it somewhat balanced. I ended my ride on some really really really nice trot work that I did on a 30-40 meter circle. Which usually I can only get a good trot on a 15 meter circle. And don't even mention trotting on the rail. But over all a great ride!(: I just wish I had pictures!!!!

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Before my dad took me out to ride we stopped by his friend's, Floyd. Floyd lives on quiet a bit of land with Black Angus cow and a bull to go with them and a pig. He asked me if I rode horses, did I have a horse, where did I keep him. You know, the basic stuff normal people ask me. When I told him everything, he said that I should keep Howard out at his place and have Dad build me a barn because of the drive out to Horse Spa. 

The drive to Horse Spa doesn't take much longer then to get to Erin's but it feels much longer. The gas kills my sister (she complains so much that it makes me feel like that it's my car and my money) and I would rather have Howard closer. I thought it over pretty much after Floyd said it and if he agrees with it then I'll really consider moving Howard again. But, of course, they will have to be changes to the place. Maybe he'll let me run the place.

Let's see what this new year brings, shall we???

Well, it's 11:40 at night and I couldn't help but think what has happened this year. Gosh! Too much in my opinion. Too much bad stuff anyway. But yet, I had some great moments to make up for all those bad moments. 
I've learned so much fro this year it's not even funny.............I'm serious......it's not. I know I'm only a teenager but I think I finally (or somewhat) understand the meaning of life: let's see how long you can deal with all this bulls**t before you explored! 
Well, I just got creeped out by someone setting off fireworks and a kid laughing like Chucky. So, I' gonna go now..........Howard and I hope everyone has a happy new year!!!!!

*Don't do laundry tomorrow, means you're gonna wash good people away from your life, and make sure to sweep your porch, means you're gonna sweep all the bad stuff out of your life!!!!!!!!!