Relaxation vs. Tension

Today I found myself really focused on me. Not my mental/emotionally attitude towards my riding and my horse (which has gotten a WHOLE lot better), but towards my posture and how I was asking Howard to preform, even just to the simplest turn or circle increase when he cut in on the circle.
During the first few months at Horse Spa I have been really tense in my whole body which has caused Howard to be tense as well. Me being tense = Howard being tense = Not a very comfortable ride for either of us. As you can guess I ran into the problem today. While I was riding I kept thinking to myself (who else would I really be thinking to anyway), "Why don't I just stay relax? Why don't I just stay relax? Why don't I just stay relax" But I never really did it. When finally I was about to canter and Howard was running with his back dropped and his head up (clearly not reaching). It finally hit me that I should probably just relax. I could feel how tense I was so I was like, "I'm just gonna relax." And I didn't even take a deep breath or shake it off, I just got relax. It's like mt body clicked and said, "It's time to be relaxed."
After I relaxed I had a wonderful ride. The canter was on the forehand but after awhile I found my seat and managed to make it somewhat balanced. I ended my ride on some really really really nice trot work that I did on a 30-40 meter circle. Which usually I can only get a good trot on a 15 meter circle. And don't even mention trotting on the rail. But over all a great ride!(: I just wish I had pictures!!!!

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Before my dad took me out to ride we stopped by his friend's, Floyd. Floyd lives on quiet a bit of land with Black Angus cow and a bull to go with them and a pig. He asked me if I rode horses, did I have a horse, where did I keep him. You know, the basic stuff normal people ask me. When I told him everything, he said that I should keep Howard out at his place and have Dad build me a barn because of the drive out to Horse Spa. 

The drive to Horse Spa doesn't take much longer then to get to Erin's but it feels much longer. The gas kills my sister (she complains so much that it makes me feel like that it's my car and my money) and I would rather have Howard closer. I thought it over pretty much after Floyd said it and if he agrees with it then I'll really consider moving Howard again. But, of course, they will have to be changes to the place. Maybe he'll let me run the place.